Scott Ott, only a day or two ahead of the news cycle

Carbon offsets are a scam, but only Scott can make them funny: EPA to monitor eBay sales of personal carbon emissions “Once the carbon dioxide emissions cap is in place,” said the EPA official, “then those citizens whose exertions, or sheer immensity, generate outputs above federally-permitted levels, must purchase offsets from less hazardous citizens. Craigslist and eBay provide the ideal platform for this exchange, since most carbon-offset sellers already spend most of their time online.”

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